Flowers Were Bruised

Ate brunch with the Soft Butches. Saw the feminist art exhibit at PS1. In between I looked over my shoulder at your. It was cold!

Went out last night with Mordecai and Steven and Tommy. Immeasurably, we build secrets. It's winter: you have no reason to do this. Lean times, you know. Tonight I'm going to see Justin Bond at PS122.

And most importantly, I got the new Breeders record Mountain Battles, today. it is perfectly dark, opaque, and logical.





Considering. And reconsidering.

And we'll go to Mars

I should have been a mathematician, honey.
I'm good at proofs. Sometimes it's like a roller coaster of information. How to deal with all the data!

So it's been a while! Miss Thing started a new job and now she's on a break from it. I'm getting traction in all areas of my life. Johnny Darling got us tickets to see Siouxsie perform (she's still got it). The next night we go-go danced and Allison Wolfe wrote PxRxDxCxTx on my stomach with a sharpie. Sometimes the boy you have a crush on wants to know about your hometown. Sometimes you send out your zine and people really like it and wwant to talk to you. Sometimes you have to figure out which pair of underwear belongs to you. I performed at Galapagos, a new cover of "Moody" by ESG. Bobo and Jiddy and I went to an art opening and made a movie, they got interviewed for the newspapers. I lost, then breifly found it. Think I'm getting a cold. we're having a party at the Soft Butch House next week.

I have the next two weeks off of work and I need to start cataloging things, you know?

urethra franklin is on teevee.

i have a rapid heartbeat and a headache.

Own Making

I wanted to make a list of all the things I've eaten / ingested in the last week, but can't remember. This serves, really, to show that I am interested in CATALOGS.

Things are better than good, friends.
Billy goes out to a lot of parties and tomorrow night he's go-go dancing.

Took Of You

Bobo, Julia, Bobo's Mama and I spent the weekend at their house in the Catskills, WILDCAT RANCH. That's the view from the porch. We drove around the countryside, visited our friend Robin Winters the living artist, and hung out with a caterpillar. It was pretty beautiful. spent an hour on the phone last night with my first homegirl Magay. we were chatting about:

• manipulating lovers
• French Bi Girls
  
• why we hate certain scenes
• doing it with hot dudes
• how Sun Ra was probably gay maybe
• Fake jerks

and then Magay says "Hold on a sec I might have to get off the phone." The proceeds to put down the phone and sell someone a movie ticket, she's been at work and on the phone chitchatting for the last hour. Which I thought was pretty great. Tonight I'm really feeling Mercury's Retrograde. Feel antsy and disoriented and overweight and just too through with it all. Not even trying to fight the world though. Just let it happen. Okay. Interview with the famous living artist Pash coming in the next few weeks. Also: I wrote a new zine and it's pretty important. BILLYCHEER@GMAIL.COM if you want a copy.

OH ALLISON

We'll get to it later. Start percolating.

Like It Was Nothing

In my week off of work I've had a pretty fabulous time. I went shopping, a lot. I went to acupuncturist, her name is Famous, to help me quit smoking cigarettes.

Ties, weaknesses, crutches, addictions, boyfriends: who needs them!

Famous put needles all over me, it was different then when I used to see her before. This time iot actually did hurt. She taped tiny little magnet beads inside my ears for me to rub when I have a nic fit. Made me a potion to drink. I've been chewing on Juniper berries. They're bitter. I'm tough. Now I have a chest cold, tar wants to come out of my body. Funny, since so many things want to go or come into it. My Body Is Sort Of Like An Intersection In A Farm Town. Lonely but people come through.

I've bought a lot of herbs and witchy ingredients. I've been getting to work. Grocery shopping. I'm reading Space Is The Place, a really fabulous biography of Sun Ra. Exercising almost every day. Gone out to some dumb bars with Sister Pico, but got some practice. Hunter and Dan came over to watch Sondheim. Bobo and I hang out all the time, generally. This is all to say that I feel pretty great, I guess.

And when I'm looking for a reason why everything in the world seems to attack me, why I pick at things until they bleed, why there are plans to in fact run off to Bellevue, I have professional help. People sit me down and talk to me about it all the time. Alright.

I finished my new zine. It's a collection of short stories about sex. Either in form or subject. we can talk about it if you like. It's called Scorcher. Give me your address if you want it. Last night I went to an art opening with Jiddy and Danielle and we saw the best NYC celebrities ever (David Byrne and CIndy Sherman). Celebrity sightings are just the best, aren't they? It's my favorite way to interact with heroes. Proof: you exist and you're so short! You seem so nice! Who knew you were so old! You exist as a real person, just like me and my neighbors! Let's all go off on our own existences, newly empowered.

It does, though, make me sad too. To run into famous photographers. Because then I start thinking of all the folks who don't exist anymore. Like Robert Mapplethorpe, Gertrude Stein, Abraham Lincoln, David Wojnarowicz, Jesus. All these dead folks. My friend Charlie who died from Meningitis when he should have died from being a junkie since he was twelve fucking years old, saying goodnight to me when he crashed my house in Brooklyn after the cops literally chased him through South Dakota for finding a bag of coke in the back of his car. Folks who should by all lights still be here and still exist, but don't, can't. Then, y'know, there are the folks who don't exist but they're not dead. They just don't know they don't exist yet. I'm speaking of a singular group here. Unfortunately they know who they are and what it tastes like to kiss me. (It tastes hopeful).

I got a haircut yesterday.
I'm off this morning, to go back to Famous for a progress report on my cessation. Then I'm going to eat Chinese food and walk around and buy clothes. Have coffee with Spencer and Emma. avoid, i guess, the rain. Encroaching. I'm going out of town for the weekend, to Bobo's house in the Catskills.