INTERVIEW WITH ELIZABETH TAYLOR
Billy Cheer: Hi Elizabeth. How's it going?
Elizabeth Taylor: Who the fuck are you? I just died. I'm on my way to Heaven right now.
Billy Cheer: So you got in? You got into Heaven?
Elizabeth Taylor: I'm sorry-- who is this? Yes. I got into Heaven. I reserved my place there years ago. I'm going to see Michael and then I'm going to see God.
Billy Cheer: Did it hurt?
Elizabeth Taylor: Did what hurt?
Billy Cheer: Dying.
Elizabeth Taylor: No. Being sick hurts. Being old hurts. But I've been dying for a very long time. When I actually died I was on painkillers, so I didn't feel anything.
Billy Cheer: Are you excited?
Elizabeth Taylor: For what? Being dead?
Billy Cheer: Are you excited to go to Heaven? Are you excited to be reunited with Michael Jackson?
Elizabeth Taylor: I wouldn't say I'm excited, but I am glad to get to see Michael again. I love him.
Billy Cheer: I wasn't even sure that he would get into Heaven. Forgive me, Ms. Taylor, but I'm frankly a little surprised that you got into Heaven, too.
Elizabeth Taylor: Well, they let anybody in. I mean, "Heaven" is just really the name of one of the lobbies of the afterlife. It's just a station on the way to eternity. One of the other lobbies to the afterlife is called Purgatory and another one of the lobbies is called Hell.
Billy Cheer: So it all kind of winds up the same.
Elizabeth Taylor: Exactly. It's all the same.
Billy Cheer: Are you sad that your life is over?
Elizabeth Taylor: I don't think so. It's not really over, just the part of it that happened on Earth. So, no. I'm not sad.