You guys. It's so great to be. I mean, even during painful moments. Even when things are Actually Shitty. That's so much better than the alternative. I think there's this huge fear of discomfort, this fear of suffering. But, you know, that's part of suffering. Fear is uncomfortable. It's like: hypochondria is a disease, too. I feel really glad to be alive, even if it hurts sometimes.
Happy Birthday to me! I woke up on the 7th and, I know it's kind of shallow, but took real pleasure in all the birthday wishes I got from people on the internet. So many friends I hadn't been in touch with lately, people who live far away or whom I've fallen out of contact with. It was so nice! I did go to work, and it wasn't bad at all. In fact my co-workers threw me and another office-mate (whose birthday is right after mine) a surprise birthday party. It was so much fun.
My mom sent me a copy of this book, because I had been talking about it when I was at home last week:
It's so great, obviously. I'm totally obsessed.
I came home, took a little bit more of a nap than I meant to, had a very good Birthday Workout, ate a sandwich and a 5-Hour Energy, and got ready. My Birthday Twin Jess Paps and I had a joint soiree at a charming little bistro in our neighborhood, Bushwick Country Club. Again, so many awesome friends came out, including dear close loves like Isabelle, who I haven't seen in ages. It was so awesome. I let pretty much everybody who offered buy me drinks, including people who didn't offer, and just brought me drinks without being prompted to. I am a generous host.
Eventually I did mosey on home. I had yesterday off work to celebrate my birthday, really. I woke up early and meditated and drank coffee over ice and then went up to my favorite neighborhood, the Upper East Side. I went to Barney's and I didn't buy anything (but I wanted to). I want to get a nice new sweater. Of some kind or another. Just looking, yesterday, though. Then I went over to Zabar's for lunch, because I'm really obsessed with their gazpacho. The girls behind the counter were talking shit about Lil' Mama, crashing the stage at the 2009 VMAs. Which, I guess I had never seen before.
Haven't you ever wanted to just jump onstage while someone else was performing? Haven't you ever wanted to participate really badly, and then realize, only in hindsight, that you were totally overdoing it and that it was totally inappropriate? Haven't you ever been too enthusiastic? For some reason I really identify with Lil Mama.
The girls at Zabar's said she was a "homewrecker".
After lunch and I went shopping Zabar's proper, for rugelach, good-ass coffee, dried pears, dried cantaloupe, and my favorite tea:
Then I moseyed in the heat down to CdG to buy some new cologne:
It kind of smells like pickle-juice? In a weird way? It smells very 1990s. It's perfect and I am very happy. Doubly, extra-specially so because when I was buying the CDG3 I asked the shopmaidens about the old Synthetic series, which is discontinued, but which I am totally obsessed with, and they gave me a tester of the SODA fragrance, since they didn't have any more, and no one seems to like it. Except me. I love it! SODA smells like weird sexy citrus dish soap. I am in heaven.
After the shopping trip, I walked downtown and got a kombucha. Kind of a dumb idea for a sweltering day but I thought it would bolster my system and give me energy and it did. But it was also foamy and sour and left me with sticky hands.
But that's okay! Because I went to my favorite nail place for a manicure, where they dug the last precious drops of polish out of my favorite summertime shade.
I was going to get a massage too, but I chickened out because I was too tired and sweaty, and besides, at the nail salon they sort of give you a half-assed massage anyway, while waiting for your nails to dry. I waited so long.
I came home and ordered takeout, picked up my laundry, and watched Tenchi Muyo! for, like, the umpteenth time. It never loses its charm. I wish alien princesses would battle with demons for me. Tenchi's such a dick, it's so bizarre that everyone's so obsessed with him. But I know it's more about his legacy and not about his own puny ass.
Thinking a little bit about these jars we have at my apartment, which I use as drinking glasses. They're these sort of cute, clunky glass jars which Key Foods used to package their generic natural peanut butter in. It was great, it was only peanuts and salt, and it was like $2, and then you get this cool jar which makes a perfect 12 ounce drinking glass. I collected dozens of these jars and used them as drinking glasses for years. None of my room mates liked them, I think they seemed a little funky or something. I adore them. But then Key Foods stopped making that peanut butter, and therefore no more jars. I'm sad whenever one of them breaks (which does, of course, happen). But you know, things change. Your favorite things sometimes go away. Actually, your favorite things reliably go away. That is certain. Like the SYNTHETIC colognes by CdG. Gbye. But it's okay because you get to enjoy them when you have them.
This morning I woke up at 5:30am, before the Sun was up, to go to the gym. I feel good.