What I Was Trying To Do

Mercury is in retrograde today.

I have a job interview, which would normally not bode well, except that it's a second round interview. We'll see. Money is kind of a pressing concern for me.

Communication is difficult. Now is not a good time to meet Mister Right. Or start writing that
novel. But, I am good at editing. Cleaning up. Catching up with old friends. Clarifying the message I want to send, sort of. My alarm didn't go off this morning, mor or less as I expected.
Thinking about when Mercury went into retrograde last summer: talk about communication breakdowns. I really wanted to keep kissing you then except 1) i hated you and 2) i think you were already in love with someone else. But still, on an almost moral level, I felt slighted. Even though there were a few colorful reasons not to make out any more, I think we would have, were the planets more surreptitiously aligned. Too bad.
Drink a glass of orange juice. Comb your hair. Take the bus. Write a zine, story, song about it. Move on, check (summer sucked but don't worry-- you're not the reason why).

Revisiting old wounds. And also revisiting wounds that are not old. Future Wounds. Thinking about my health. I'm turning almost all of my attention inward. Anyway.

Something I'm really connected to is this picture that Aura Rosenberg took of her daughter. Mike Kelley styled her.

When I saw her speak a few years ago, she talked about this photo and how horribly misunderstood it was. It was the photo she chose from a whole set of her daughter done up like this. There was one moment where Carmen, the little girl, got upset, and she took a photo. Children's advocacy groups got all over Rosenberg, maybe rightly so. But it is an interesting photograph, especially given that it was taken by the girl's mother. I like it, because it shows a girl who is just fed up, even though she has all this glamorous make-up on. And she can't even cry about it because then everyone just assumes the worst. So my lesson to myself today is that it's okay to not feel great about your circumstances and it's okay to want to cry about it, regardless of what everyone will think.

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