Aprodite, she got nothing on me

Accepted the cruel reality that I only sleep during the work week. Weekends I become nocturnal. I eat constantly, to keep my strength up. It's barely even food. Just, I guess, caffeine and Tylenol and chemicals and refined carbohydrates. And a steady diet of dancing, boredom, worry, and denial. Multi-vitamins. Green tea.This weekend I had a blast, though.

Friday I spent most of the evening alternately napping and worrying. Mordecai and I went out dancing where this photo was taken. I wish I could take photos of me making out with myself. Saturday was our huge house party. I didn't exactly have what I would call "fun", but I enjoyed myself thoughout the evening. Sunday was spent much like the last few months of Sundays, trying to get a hold of myself. Cleaning, resting. Reading Marjane Satrapi and David Wojnarowicz and Joan Didion and Diana Ross biographies. Gardening, almost.

The point is: it is autumn and I am feeling flexible. So social, in fact, that my memory doesn't serve me so well.

So friendly that my lips are chapped.

Loved the rain in the morning.
I feel really weird about my place in the world. I sort of need a new way to be.
I think I've inadvertently hurt some feelings. But my horoscope says that if I didn't break it then I should just be nice and helpful, but not worry about fixing it. Some egos (mine included) are so ornately fragile. Whatever.

This is making me feel calm, cold, anxious and excited. Totally virginal.
Just like it did when I was 15.

1 comment:

M. said...

Right back at you, sunshine.