Lov Gov

Yesterday I went to work where I felt really useful and more-than-appropriately acknowledged and paid for my work. Went shopping and to my therapist to discuss my emotional process. How fucked it is and how much better it's getting. I need to remember that maybe, despite what I've been taught, I might be something of an intellectual. Whenever I have an intense emotion I always look for the meaning. Like: "I feel so shitty, why? This person is totally putting me down everything I say, I don't understand why and I need to!" I don't actually need to understand. And I won't, I guess, understand all of every one's feelings all of the time. So recognizing that the fruitless search for meaning is usually not going to give me the answers I want, but is an important part of how I process emotions.

This is interesting to you.

Then went home, ate vegan burritos and took a nap. Went to see Karen Finley workshop her hilarious / heartbreaking new piece, "The Impulse to Suck", about the Spitzer Scandal. Felt very shy, but went and said hello to her afterwards, gave her a copy of my zine. She was very gracious.

Was invited to perform as part of Glenn Marla's HEAVY, along with La JohnJoseph, etc. My friends came including my special friend. I read from my zine, which I've never done before. People seemed to like it, they laughed and applauded. I was really nervous and very happy with the simplicity of just TALKING IT OUT. Finally met Justin Bond, who was very sweet to me. I am such a fanboy! I feel like things in my life are getting closer to fair proportions. I dunno. Want to sort of keep track of this.

I feel vaguely worried today. Am I forgetting something? I worry a lot because I have a hard time setting boundaries, but I suppose worrying about that won't help. Ah well.

Regardless. I'm going to have a good weekend.

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