A Case of the Can't Believes

I am feeling a deep mistrust of:
  • the weather today
  • the wheeze in my lungs
  • my ability to get or manage money
  • basically everyone in the world (especially on the topic of how much / whether they like me)
  • my own feelings
Like, I don't know iif I'm really so scared or really so upset. I wish I had a manual or something. I feel like an awful automaton, running without programming. Stuck in diagnostic mode. Whirring. This feels super weird. The word, again, is akithisia.

I constantly catch myself wrapped up in, say, feeling really angry. I have to check myself constantly: Am I really angry? How do I know? Really? Things feel so uncertain, and most uncertain is my ability to attach meaning to anything. I feel, like, Barbara Streisand Crazy. Am I really going to do this? Why? Really? Movie Poster crazy. Am I really in love with you? Are you the perfect human being? Why? Am I perfect too? Extra Ketchup Crazy.

What is going on here, friends?

1 comment:

Bobo said...

this is like getting your period for the first time crazy...
*eats a scoop of dannon*

this is like my boyfriend accidentally ramming it up my ass crazy
*eats another scoop of dannon