I write on my blog in vague, coded ways. In part, because I want to relay an experience with a certain amount of lyric glory. I want you to have to figure out what I mean. I want to imply that if you really knew me, like, in real life, then you'd know what I'm referring to.
But also, I use vague language because I don't know how kosher it is for me to write explicitly about the sex I'm having, the parties I go to, and what kind of cocktails I drink. Having sleepovers with celebrities, deep conversations with witches. I also am reluctant to air my exact feelings in real life.
This is all to say that I am withholding on purpose.
Tidbit: She makes herself feel better by controlling the one thing she has a little bit of power over: what goes into her body. And what her body goes into. Fucking to the sounds of fireworks. Half-sleeping lovers and safety belts. Glamorous girls in bathrooms at parties and nature walks.