So much sense in relativity. Comparing myself to other people is a sure-fire way to bring myself down. Usually, anyways. The random, silly thing I measure myself against. Today, though, I'm looking at these old rulers, these pre-metric measures of quality, progress, change, growth.
This is all to say that despite what I would change about myself, the things about me that I'm less than thrilled with, I am totally and happily glad to not be you, or anything like you, even a little bit.
We find these wells within ourselves, sometimes. Think about this: at what point in your artistic process do you use the feeling and then just make something? Pain is compelling. Love and fear and anxiety are all compelling because we all feel them. I'm so tired of writing or singing or taking a photo or something and have to answer the question "Who is this about?" It's about me.
A last week I was walking to work and something shiny caught my eye. (Story of my life). I watched this sparking thing move towards me down 23rd Street. As it got closer, I realized I was watching a diamond, blinging in the last summer sun. It was embedded in Marc Jacobs' ear. He was tan and tattooed and shorter and much, much hotter than I would have ever hoped. He had (I'm assuming) just come out of his gym, and was leisurely walking towards a cab. I read the feature on him in the New Yorker this week, in which he says "I am perfect being in a perfect world." Which isn't just a value judgment, but statement on being what you are. He is just right for his world. and he is pretty much objectively perfect I mean look at the guy. Anyways: say him on the street, transfixed by someone who is so realized. There is something to be said for getting a sign from the universe and that was it. I am gonna be perfect.
Not just perfect in terms of looking hot and being talented, but perfect in realizing one's own self. This is sort of hard to describe so I'm going to use another YouTube music video to describe my inner state. Part of being in my element, being a perfect being in a perfect world, is feeling like this: