1/21/09

Zen Up In It

On another note. Meanwhile, across town...

I've been really trying to make a Radical Acceptance a regular practice. Especially with my interpersonal relationships. Like, someone does something that hurts my feelings or confuses me: so I turn with an open heart towards them and show them the respect and compassion that I would like. Luckily, it works 99% of the time.

But then there are other cases. I'm not thinking of anyone in particular and certainly not anyone that would deign to read my weblog (although if Sitemeter is to be believed a bunch of people are stumbling here -- thank you! I must be so wonderful and talented and interesting har har har. But seriously I appreciate all the traffic I think it's really good for everyone involved). I'm thinking of a specific person who has (for their own reasons which I am sure are valid and relevant to them and that is OK) a vested interest in being super mean to me. Not in the ambiguous "What's that supposed to mean?" kind of meanness that I usually complain about. But in the seriously "I hate you, Billy. You're so fucking stupid, Billy. I can't believe how fucking awful you are, Billy." So it's for real. I have witnesses. Shit gets kinda intense on the rare occasion that we have to speak to each other. So I'm trying to approach the situation from my 1970s Libber/Lover (no one's allowed to rip that off of me, I'm saying it now) kind of HEALING mindset. I'm thinking: 'Gosh, this person really seems to want me to hurt'. Then I think to myself: 'Well, they must have so much anger because they're such an ugly person on the inside as well as the outside and if I hated myself as much as this person hates themselves then I'd probably be violent towards everyone else too." It's a good thing I have zero contact with the individual.

My point is that I know it's not the same thing as compassion, in fact I guess it's the opposite (condescention) but it makes me feel tender instead of reactive towards people who wanna fuck with me when they're (physically, psychically, emotionally) repulsive.

Namaste. Or whatever.

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