3/30/09

Frightened but I won't let it show

I am in the zoo or something. There is an animal in the cage and it is starving or sick. I want to go near it to help it, to let it out of the cage. Whenever I get close enough it starts growing and attacks me. I get scared and I get scratched. And then I get angry and I walk away.

The brave thing, the right thing is not always the thing that makes you feel good. I told this once to my dad, while we were smoking a joint and I started tearing up. I said You think you're doing the right thing for someone because it makes you feel good to do it, but that's not true. I started to cry, and I never cry. And I remember we were listening to opera or something on the radio. My dad's a big opera fan. You think that if you really tried hard enough, you could set the angry animals free and they wouldn't hurt you. You think that if the lion eats you while you are trying to save it, then it will be worth it. But that's not really right either.

So I walk to the phone, and I call animal control, I call the cops, I call your mom across town, I call my best friends, I call my mom across the country. I call the zookeeper and then help someone who can deal with it gets the animals out and no one dies.

It's eleven o clock and I am just now eating dinner and I am being calm. What if strange cute boys said sweet things to you on the phone? It'd feel good I can say. I'm supposed to be writing a story right now, and I guess I just did, but this isn't the story I was supposed to be writing tonight.

Kylie, especially this song, matters. Right?

No comments: