The night was rough.
Saturday the thing that helped was meeting the Trannibals at Dallas BBQ to have a dinner of oversized margaritas. The medicine is the poison is the doctor is the patient is the cure. Later in the wknd, Bobo mentioned something about the song "Satellite of Love" in reference to last summer. She said that was part of her summer because I just kept playing that song over and over again. I forgot about that, that I was obsessed with that song. I remember thinking it had some really big optimsitic significance in my life. La Johnjoseph turned me on the great remix of it. I feel like that song is emblematic of la JJ and I. He would of course be Bowie and I would be Lou Reed. He'd be the androgynous british mastermind, sticking glittery painted fingernail fingers into every hole of choruses and I would be the dark ugly junkie new yorker with a hardon and anxiety about the hard-on. Things like that drive me out of my mind.
Monday I shot another video with Jeffery and Cole. I'd been feeling really out of sorts from the weekend, really crazy. But it was a lot of fun, I got to say some funny things and then they bought me a veggie burger. Shooting videos is hard! They're all this stuff of close-ups and setting up shots, and I keep forgetting that I have to say my lines and act in the scene even when the camera isn't pointed at me. Confusing!
I went home and laid on my roof, feeling very crazy and sad. I got groovy and took some painkillers and watched the sun set while I read Sontag and listened to Laurie Anderson talk about her dreams. I ordered Chinese food. I've been reading Sontag's essay "The Pornographic Imagination" and feeling inspired. I couldn't find Story of O at Strand yesterday afternoon so I got Erica Jong's How to Save Your Own Life. Sounds like the right idea, to me.
Watched Inland Empire because I love Laura Dern. I got pretty freaked out. I felt just like her character in that movie, shooting scenes earlier in the day and losing all sense of reality. I really identified with that. I feel like in this movie Laura Dern is giving some Miranda July effects. Discuss.
SOME THEMES IN MY LIFE LATELY:
- Rice Cakes