No more familiar faces. No more "I've heard so much about you"s. I only want to meet new people, who I don't know and who my friends don't know and who my friends haven't already slept with. Entirely New Boys. Girls from the Future. I don't want any of them to speak English or have any idea who I am or have any opinions on the state of current "indie rock".
I think this makes me a bad person, the desire for Entirely New People. Good Buddhists are supposed to be able to thrive and find empowerment and compassion by exploring the fact that there are no new people-- we're all connected. Maybe Good Buddhists don't beat themselves up about being good. Maybe this makes me good. Maybe 'maybe' is as far as anyone's ever gonna get, and I oughta just give up here.
Speaking of wondering whether or not you're good or you're entitled to your feelings, especially when you're feeling socially claustrophobic:
(explanations for everything-- I've got them)