I'm going to dinner tonight with my friend Kevin. We're going to my favorite restaurant even though he's not vegetarian. So there's at least one thing to look forward to.

I'm working on a new written piece for my HOT! Festival / East Village Boys event next week. It's next Thursday, July 16th, at 9pm at Dixon Place in the upstairs lounge. It's free! Tommy Pico and Daniel Portland are both reading with me. So I'm working on a story about how I was sleeping with this one guy in the winter and now I sort of slept with him again in the summer, but his doppelganger. I've been thinking a lot about "doubling". It's funny how I'm not really writing about sex. Like not the mechanics of it. I think I'm interested more in writing about / exploring desire. I mean, writing about it so that I don't have to feel it.

Anyways, I'm really into drawing parallels between disparate men I've been with. Boys. Guys. The French have a better word: Mec. The two people actually know each other. One of them intimated to me that they've slept together, and I think that's so hot. Not even the people together necessarily, and not even me making a catalogue of my Little Black Book. I think I'm just really turned on by the idea of like ORGANIZING or DESIGNATING one's sexual desires. Like I don't want to even look at my 'list' (I made one recently, at the behest of a boy I was seeing, it was not a 100% pleasant experience and the list, now, two months later is out of date). I dunno, the idea of interacting with your desires, making paper dolls out of the past appeals to me. Maybe it won't work though. I'm trying to relay an experience. That's what critics do, relay an experience. To a certain extent. I should maybe just refer to myself as a boy critic. CRITIC OF MASCULINITY.

(Now I'm in over my head. I realize that).

On Friday I'm gonna be part of this really big art show / performance in Brooklyn called O.T.K. Discipline. It features basically every gay artist. Almost all of them. I am so totally excited to be part of it I'm actually trying to not think about it a lot because then I'd get nervous and wanna chicken out. But I'm not gonna chicken out! And neither should you! Come to this awesome thing!

Then the very next day I know I'm gonna need to drink a 5-Hour energy drink to go-go dance at everyone's favorite queer punk party, QxBxRx.

1 comment:

Derek said...

Yeeeea! my friend nadiah's band, shebeast, is fucking awesome. She's a party herself.