Deserving Shadow

eclipse tomorrow night. dump your stupid boyfriend. be mine.

Sunburn on the back of my legs cause I was reading a magazine. Silly me. California.
Growing up when I'd have my birthday parties as a baby in Griffith Park my mom brought a cooler of otter pops I want them again this year.

I've been sick and I'm in bed right now. I'm gonna watch that Godard movie Contempt to get caught up, if you know what I mean. Back in the loop, I guess.

got this in the mail this morning:

Listening to Jarboe's 13 Masks it's very Troop Beverly Hills, in a really good way. Her at her poppiest, maybe and it's still super great. Super weird and southern gothic and stuff, but really great. Speaking of blue-blooded Southern Gothic Experimental Pop Divas, La JohnJoseph is coming back into town and we're gonna rehearse tomorrow and I can't wait to start in on him. But he's kind of like Jarboe too. They're both redheads. She's a sometimes redhead. I will expound on this later, but my life lately is a lot like how my friend Cotton tried to trick his friend Jimmy into liking Dolly Parton which turned out to be a shame because Dolly Parton's actually really great. Anyways, so is Jarboe and so is her first record.

And we never even fucked. He would just like to sleep in bed together he was always freezing and needed to cuddle for warmth. It was winter, yeah. But I always thought he just poor circulation cause he was part dead zombie, reptile, fish, metal. Something cold, and bloodless. Politically incorrect, actually. Politically opposite. And still with my arch nemesis we'd kiss until our mouths were raw. He hadn't shaved. it had chaffed me and I complained the next week about how I was breaking out or something from his sandpaper face all over mine cause he wanted to be VERY, VERY, CLOSE (remember mother?). When I told him I was breaking out he just said "Well that's cause you smoke too much weed." But in fact he smoked a lot more weed that I did and I knew it was from him not shaving that I had the zits and he didn't shave cause he smoked too much weed, a lot more than me. I remember this really clearly because at the time I was using really expensive face wash every fucking day. It was the winter and I wanted to look my best, look like Laura Bush or something. I wanted the skin on my face to be REALLY FUCKING TIGHT. And I think I succeeded, make-out zit notwithstanding.

And then in the morning we woke up and the first thing he said to me was "Do you think we look alike?" And I said no, why? And the second thing he said was "My mom thinks we do". And it was early and we were hungover and I had no idea what to think of that moment until years later today when I thinking about it when I heard Kathy Acker say "Virginity doesn't know it's own name".

No comments: