In middle school and high school I did not listen to the Misfits. I was and am a punk rocker but I just never got into them. They were like Nirvana for me-- pretty vanilla. I imagined that I already knew what they sounded like. That was my excuse for not listening to them, I thought they were 'boring' and I'd much rather listen to the new Allison Wolfe side project (this preference remains).

But really I was making excuses about not listening to them because I felt ashamed for not being into them. All the punk boys and most of the punk girls I knew, the tough girls who wore big leather jackets and defended me from mean straight boys through the use of cigarette butts, mean words and smeared eyeliner, the girls liked the Misfits too. There was a pretty popular Misfits cover band from my town, Plan 9, and I'd go to see them all the time at 924 Gilman St., mostly just cause it was the place to be, not because I knew the songs.

The Misfits, and the boys that listened to them, intimidated me. Then in college, I became queerer and queerer and could make my piece with rockabilly and early punk rock and I discovered I liked to party. And that I really liked the Misfits. And then I got more interested in who they were and what they looked like.

And I can say now that Glenn Danzig at the outset of his career was probably as close to My Perfect Boyfriend as anyone is going to come. I mean, gosh.

I don't know what I was so scared of. Whatever. Glenn Danzig and the whole idea of the Misfits is predicated on such a profound movie-collecting dorkiness that I can't help but be attracted to it. Thinking of renowned Girl Philosopher T. Vail's writings on "the dork" or "the frump". I think Glenn and I would have made such a great couple. I basically only date boys who sort of look like him, but none of the guys I date are ever in really cool bands. And none of them have the utter commitment to such a ridiculous (in context) but fashion-forward (futuristic, style-definining) look. I wish my hair wasn't so curly so I could grow a devillock. In high school boys and girls, even well into 2002, wore devillocks without a fucking trace of irony and for teenage hormone Glenn Danzig to have that much influence over disaffected American youth makes me really want to make out with him. Or at least the Imaginary Boyfriend version of him that I've been conjuring up these last few years as I fall asleep, jerking off to "We Are 138".

Seriously, Glenn.
I want your skull.

Super cute, and shy onstage:

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