As everybody knows, the absolute coolest boy in the world is BRONTEZ. He's in Gravy Train!!!!, writes the incredible zine FAG SCHOOL, and leads my favorite band THE YOUNGER LOVERS. He sent me the following poem which I am very happy to share with all of you.

Help me understand
What it means to be the hot chocolate boy in a band
"All comparisons are insulting" she might say
Don't be like that Kim!
Hurry, hurry
(Im chocolate and im melting)
Eustress, Distress
My reality's turned to a hot fucking mess
I once got stuck in the Dakotas where
The teen girl said she'd prefer me dancing in my underwear
It's not your fault
It's my fault
I sold it too cheap and it all got bought
Sedate with
a pill that reads "famous and poor"
(i think im important cause if i don't- who will?)
Revive my reality with smelling salts, your RIGHTOUS guitar assault
If your records are all the right price- they'll always get bought
I play it with a worn down record needle
Your band has always sounded like the future
I want to sound like the Beatles
I know ITS tired-but im not
You really ought to see my voodoo pot
Im a limitless bag of tricks
I got ways of making you not over it
Now all the white kids in your videos are too fucking skinny
And they're always kissing
(I miss the one with McCaully in it)
Yet still- i sacrifice to the alter of your Goddess
Bless me with all the online hits im missing
Im dumb enough to say whatever i want
Cause i don't think that anyone is listening