2/11/10

Miss Thing is TOO THROUGH with these Ugly Duckling Damages

I posted that on my Twitter page last week and it remains true, for me. An accurate description of something.



Basically, here's what I am tired of: I really am too through with the idea of you thinking that you are ugly. Thinking that no one thinks you're cool. You thinking that you don't have any friends. It is inaccurate, and it sets you up to be sort of annoying. Cause, see, you're working with this supposition of psychic poverty, you presume a kind of paucity of personality. You are working under the assumption that you are lame, you suck or are as I have said, an ugly duckling. And, like, A) this isn't true and we wouldn't be friends / I would be so totally in love with you / we wouldn't hang out all the time if this were true. B) it makes it necessary for you to really talk a lot about how awesome you are, when good things happen to you. And I don't wanna begrudge you your happiness because I really do love you and I really do want to encourage you and short of sucking yr dick I don't know another way to make you see how wonderful I think you are. But stop being so fucking vocally surprised when the world, as well, confirms the suspicion of your beauty, intelligence, talent, coolness, whatever.

You are not an ugly ducking. I am sorry to say that you have a much more difficult line to tow and that is being a viciously beautiful creature. Liberate yourself. I'll meet you outside the gates of the zoo.

My BFF Danielle and I had this running joke, this imaginary character we used to make jokes about, named Nathan McQueen. In the joke, he was Alexander's less-fashionable, inexplicably Texan, twin brother, separated at birth. He made clothes for cowboys and was good-natured about his successful sibling. I guess we can never make that joke ever again.

This is how exhausting it is to be a narcissist. I have to do such complicated mental gymnastics, in order to really make things about ME. So, y'know. Think about that the next time you want to make fun of me for being self-centered: I'm very busy and I don't have time to deal with anyone's jealousy and resentment-fueled negativity. Even my own.

I am viciously hungover.

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