notes from LOCKING, work in progress.

At a fancy apartment where you are house sitting. We're getting really fucked up on booze and drugs and listening to records. We take turns choosing songs and you only put on these really long house tracks with no lyrics, or lyrics in Swedish or something, and I put on punk songs that only take a minute and make me want to wrestle with you on the expensive carpet.

NICK: Stop jumping around, you're going to knock something over.
BILLY: No I'm not. Sorry. I'm antsy. I'm all keyed up from the gym.
NICK: My friend told me about guys that have sex at the gym. I had no idea. Do you have sex at the gym, Billy? Is that why you're keyed up?

You've never even heard of people having sex at the gym. This is something new to you. You probably don't know a lot about cruising because for years you had a boyfriend. So maybe you never got the memo that guys cruise in gyms. Anyways, I didn't go to the gym to fuck. I came to the apartment where you're house-sitting to fuck. But you've invited this other guy over, I'm trying to seduce you and punish you before he gets here.

BILLY: That's not why I'm keyed-up, Nick. I don't go cruising at the gym. In fact, I chose the gym I use specifically because it's not cruise-y.
NICK: I think my friend Cynthia goes to your gym.
BILLY: Yeah, I saw her there tonight.
NICK: Where was she?
BILLY: We were in the cardio room but we didn't say hi or anything.
NICK: Was she cruising?
BILLY: Maybe. Maybe I'll cruise Cynthia at the gym. Maybe we'll have sex in the locker room. Would you be pissed?
NICK: What?
BILLY: If I had sex with your friend Cynthia. Would you be mad at me?
BILLY: Who would you be mad about? Who would you be mad at me for sleeping with?
NICK: Nobody. We're not the bosses of each other. I'm not into that kind of game.
BILLY: I bet I can think of someone.

I'm thinking of your ex-boyfriend. I'm thinking about sleeping with him just to upset you.

NICK: Who?
BILLY: You know who I'm thinking of.
NICK: You mean... whatever. That wouldn't even make me mad. That would just be evil.
BILLY: So you wouldn't be mad at me if I was evil?
NICK: No. I'd be sad.
BILLY: That's the same thing.

I'm running my fingers through your hair and I'm trying to think of a way to hurt you. Without, y'know, actually pulling your hair or anything. We're talking about how your hair is turning gray. I don't see it, but you do and it freaks you out.

BILLY: Hey Nick, y'know what would be a good haircut for you?
NICK: What?
BILLY: Do you know that band, that old punk band, the Misfits?

There is a long pause as I'm coming your hair forward with my fingertips. It's brown, the color of very expensive Mahogany wood. You are staring at me and you're too surprised to be mad, but when you finally do talk you're speaking in a low voice, very slowly.

NICK: Billy, are you talking about a Devilock?
BILLY: Yeah, Nick. I was.
NICK: Did you... did you really think I didn't know who the Misfits were?
BILLY: Well, I dunno. I thought you only listened to techno.
NICK: I can't believe you thought I wouldn't know what a Devilock is.
BILLY: But Nick, I didn't mean it as a value-judgment.

But I totally did mean it as a value judgment. I think your taste in music sucks. I don't think you're cool. I want you to know that I think you're un-cool, in fact.

NICK: Anyways, I used to have one.
BILLY: What?
NICK: A Devilock.
NICK: Yeah, my old boyfriend Paul and I got them together. We dyed our hair black.
BILLY: When was that?
NICK: That must have been 2003.

In 2003, I had black hair too.

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