Our Lucky Nights and Days
IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND: VEGA FROM STREET FIGHTER II
Maybe I mean to say "Style Icon". Maybe I mean both. I talk a lot about this tension and I think that Vega is exemplifies it for me.
Obviously I've wanted to fuck Vega from the get-go. From being like... seven? So little. Vega was totally the best character (to my mind). He was the boy character that was like the girl characters, so in a way he was safer. But he is SO femme. Like, ridiculously femme for an early 90s video game. He makes no sense. I mean, he does make sense and is super sexy if you (like me) have a queered palette. He walks this really cool line of butch/femme, boy/girl, aggro/passive. He is a hybrid, a mutant, a tranny, a faggot. Even the hamfisted racial stereotypes that the game uses are applied in some kind of postmodernist mishmash for Vega. Vega being the "Spanish Ninja", natch. I think this is in part because of the way Capcom developed the character. The final version released in the US incorporated elements from previous iterations of the character.
I'm really interested in the ACCESSORIES. He's the only character to carry a weapon, which, of course, can break. Such vulnerability! But he also wears that fucking mask, because he's afraid of injuring his beautiful face. So there's two things that are really turning me on about Vega:
a) Hybrid / Cyborg / Queer Bodies
b) He has some damage. Like all street fighter characters he has some backstory, but his is particularly mysterious. His fighting style is totally alien. He has a rad tattoo of a snake over his chest and even though I don't like braided hair I like his cause I am counting it as a Ponytail.
Normally I hate men with long hair but Vega's not a man, not really. The sash might as well be a skirt. The tension I am talking about earlier is this tension between wanting to be someone and wanting to fuck someone. I often feel like people should, generally, demystify their desires. We owe it to ourselves to interrogate what turns us on, and to think of it as not impossible, foreign, inaccessible and "other" all the time. (Granted-- some people have a kink about desiring something they can never have but I'm not talking about that). I think that we can inhabit our fantasies, we can map them onto our "real lives". SO this is where, for me, Vega comes in. An image of aspiration and desire. A productive fantasy. A really helpful fantastic tool. What I am saying is that, at least nominally, you can become the person you want to fuck. And then, presumably, fuck yourself. Ha! Not really. The nice thing, the thing I'm trying to emphasize here about moving between fantasy and real using fictional video game characters of 90s rock stars, is that it opens the space in marrying your fantasies and yourself, you leave new open spaces in both your desires and your real life to fill with new fantasies and new desires and new real life identities. It is a game in which you are continually winning.
Also: cute shoes, right?