Feel like.

It seems, when it's bad, like escalating examples. Like repeated lessons. Like, over and over again the same message, delivered in various permutations. Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to... what? Not live in fear of repeating it? Feel pretty bummed out, lonely, angry. Same ways as always.

Y'know what? I'm calling a do-over. I am not gonna waste any more of my time on something that is just designed to make me feel bad (let's talk in real life about the details, Friend). Sort of realized last night at the gym that I've been having this macro-experience and the macro-experience is this: when yr running on the treadmill, if you turn your head to see who just walked into the room, you can lose your footing. I feel like in the treadmill of my life, I turned my head. I got so majorly distracted by how much bullshit I suddenly had to deal with, I got majorly distracted by worrying about what other people think of me, I got majorly distracted by my feelings. And I sort of realized, last night, listening to Mary Timony's crunchy buzzy 20 year old guitar sounds, that that happened and now it's over. And so I am ready to get back to work. Whatever.

Somewhere out there / somewhere in here (points to chest, points to head) there's another way of looking at this, the last year, the last decade, etc. I'm not trying to get too woo-woo on any of you, but I think it's important to use whatever psychological you may have at your disposal to wedge yourself away from the stickybad feelings. I think you know what I am talking about.

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