Nothing, both ways

Bobo and I went upstate to Wild Cat Ranch (recently renamed but forever thus in my heart) in the Catskills this weekend. How was it? Fantastic. What did it look like?

Lush, verdant. This and many more fantastic photos from Bobo’s Blog.

We went to Woodstock one day. We mostly just hung out on her porch, taking breaks to eat and sleep. Bobo cooked a lot, which was really fucking awesome. Her mom made a strawberry rhubarb pie, which I had never had before and which I liked a lot and would like to have more of.

The mountains were so gorgeous I was literally struck dumb. You might have been able to divine this about me from reading the blog or knowing me in real life, I like to talk a lot. But for the better part of the weekend, without any real cell phone reception or internet connection, I was pretty quiet. I just stared at trees.

And I also stared at Bobo. She is so beautiful, taking photos (of me, in this picture, taking a photo of her with my shitty camera phone).


She is moving to Seattle this summer. And it breaks my heart. To the extent, I mean, that I have acknowledged her leaving, it breaks my heart. I'm kind of in denial.

I don’t know. I’d been really looking forward to the trip upstate. And it definitely lived up to my expectations (I slept! Real sleep! Two whole nights in a row!). I had a really great time. When we came back, Bobo gave me a nice new summer haircut. Which did make me feel very refreshed.

It's too hot for hair, really.

But then I made the mistake of catching up on my internet. Maybe it's not a mistake. Just checking in with all the myriad places I keep myself plugged into. And it really bummed me out! I wish I could elaborate. I wish I didn’t have to. I just got myself stressed out. I feel like “everyone” is moving. Pretty much. Maybe not everyone actually, but a lot of my friends are moving or moving on or something, this summer. Going to school or abroad or to live out some kind of fantasy. Everyone's coming back, I mean. Eventually. Both of my parents are retiring this summer. It feels like, for a lot of people I know, they have some idea of what their Next Step should be. Something that sounds fun to them, and they’re doing it. And I do not exactly feel that way. I don’t know if I feel left out or what.

I think about this clip of video so often. I think it's really remarkable that this was on TV. I don't think Britney was on drugs or even drunk here. I do think she felt like she was missing out and I do think she believes that time travel is real. And I guess I believe that too, but maybe in a different way. Gawd.

Something is definitely up. I don't want to be such a drama queen, but nothing really sounds like the next logical step, for me. Nothing sounds fun. I mean "Nothing" both ways, too. I mean that nothing ("nothingness") actually does sound like fun, like as a thing to do. And I also mean that nothing (nothing in particular) sounds particularly appealing.

I’m trying to function mostly as a Noticer, these days. A participator. And a planner. Next month I go on Real Vacation, to Berlin. Which could change everything.

Oh fuck, that was the real point of writing a blog post. To share the pictures of Upstate and to talk about Berlin.

Tomorrow (6/1) is La JohnJoseph’s Birthday! HOW FUCKING FANTASTIC!

To know an Icon. To know an Icon is also a beautiful human soul. It's a trip, you guys.

I don't know what kind of tribute I could possibly do here, on my blog, for him. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love La JohnJoseph. I wish so bad that I could be there with him in Berlin celebrating with all his friends, but I am so excited that I will get to see him in two weeks to give him a birthday spanking. He is a constant source of joy in my life and I am so fucking thankful for and continually inspired by him. He's a beam of light in my life. I've shared some of the best moments ever with him, and he has proven himself to be a true friend. I wish I was him, so that I could hang out with him all the time. So much love. Happy Birthday, lover. I will see you soon!

I've been so obsessed with this juice lately, you guys.

I think I mentioned that the new Planningtorock album W is out. ("Double-You," get it?). It's obviously all I have been listening to for the last five days since it came out. It is definitely my new favorite record and I think everyone should check it out. I downloaded it for like $8 on iTunes and you get 12 songs plus a remix.

I have what I feel like is a really unique and personal connection to Planningtorock's music. Probably everybody does. That is I think part of the genius of her work, maybe. I think her lyrics are probably really personal, but they're also couched in a sort of universal slang. I mean, I guess you'd have to speak English to get the lyrics. So much of her work, I think, seems to be about communicating, understanding, expressing. Relaying something. How to talk about how to talk. And in your headphones it feels like a coded message. Or, not that. Something which you can understand, but would be hard to describe to someone else. So they'd have to listen to it too.

I don't remember how or why I heard of her first album, Have it All, but I downloaded it in late 2006. I think because I knew she had some connection to Chicks on Speed? I downloaded the whole album of it except for one song, "I Wanna Bite Ya". I don't know how it escaped my attention. Anyway, the other nine songs are also excellent, and I remember my first real winter in NYC after college was very harsh, and I had a really shitty winter coat, and I would take my lunch break at Pratt (where I was temping), and walk around Brooklyn in really cold weather just totally blissing out to Have it All. It felt like it was the sound of someone making up their mind, changing their mind, noticing it, and celebrating it. It was insane, to me. Just after this time I went home with this guy, and he put on the Planningtorock album and I knew I was smitten. And then this song came on. I knew it must be Planningtorock, but I had never heard it before, it's called "I Wanna Bite Ya."

So I sort of associated it with sex, magick, fate, romance. It became my favorite song of all time and I had it play at the end of this performance piece I made call Lover, Ferocious because the piece was sort of about someone wanting to eat somebody else. But not in the way Janine sings about.

Anyway so I waited five years and there's a new Planningtorock record and it is so good, you guys. I could get into it all right now but I will probably be talking about this for a while. If anyone wants to talk about this record, you know where to find me. My favorite song on the album is probably "Jam" but that might change. My favorite moment on the whole record is in that song ("Jam") when she says "I'm passionate, how 'bout you?" and then these really deep distorted voices come into some kind of mutant harmony, and she leers "..ooh how 'bout you?" It's insane. It makes me want to change EVERYTHING.

There seems to be a sequel, at least emotionally, to "I Wanna Bite Ya" on this record. It's called "The Breaks" and it's the second single. I wasn't so thrilled about it the first time I heard it, but the second time I heard it (right after I heard it for the first time) I was floored. I don't know what happened! It's really smart, heavy, sad, beautiful, and sweet. And there's a really beautiful video for it.

THE BREAKS from planningtorock on Vimeo.

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