5/5/11

Tipping

In the dream last night I was hanging out at a video game store near Astor Place. I don't know why. I think I was friends with the guys what worked there. Or, they weren't my friends, they were friends of friends. They were nerds, and they didn't like me at all.

They were doing this weird thing that boys do, which is be really insecure and overly masculine about themselves. They were like jock nerds. Nerds who were snobby about video game technology. In the dream I kind of milled around the store, watching them play video games with each other. They were teasing me. It got boring and it hurt my feelings so I decided to go start my show.

I did a show outside the video game store, on the sidewalk. The show involved me telling a monologue (I don't remember what it was about) while I had my purse, a big brown leather number, open. I had it sitting on some kind of pedestal. It was there to collect tips. In the way that a musician would leave his guitar case open or something, I had this big leather purse open on a pedestal. People walked by, heard my speech, and threw money in.

I'm a really good performer so I made a lot of money in my dream. Sometimes people would try to take a couple of bills out of my purse, but I'd give them a sort of scold-y look and cock my head and they'd feel appropriately shamed and wouldn't steal. They'd even give me money for catching them. I think I had something like a wand. A wand for a magician or a conductor. I don't remember what the speech was about but I think it had to do with Tipping and Goodwill.

A well-dressed business lady walked by, felt around in my purse, and left me a crumpled $22 bill. Wow! I thought, I've never even seen one of those before! I'm making so much money! She seemed to really get what my performance was about, and she communicated this through her support.

Then this guy with a ponytail walked by. First he reached in and he took out my phone. I reached over to him to get it back, but he was smiling in the sinister way that older kids at school do. For them, it really is just a game. I got scared. He wouldn't let go of my phone, and he was stronger than me. Then he really easily just grabbed my purse, with all the money and looped it over his shoulder. It looked like a backpack on him. He slowly turned around and walked away. I guess, I mean, I could've tackled him. But in the dream I didn't. I was in shock, and then I was terrified. Fuck.

I went back inside the video game store and started explaining what happened to some stupid nerd employee who was fighting a grin. He thought it was hilarious. It occurred to me in the dream that the nerd video game store employees knew the guy who took my shit. Or were cut from the same cloth. I started totally freaking out at this guy. I was explaining how there was a $22 tip, and my phone, and my wallet and -- oh no! -- my housekeys in this big brown purse. I started wondering how and why I had such a big purse. And the nerd video game store employee was getting bored listening to my dumb tale. I began to realize that it was only a dream, and he looked at me like "Duh".

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