Feeling, as I am lately, pretty worthless and rotten, it makes you look both in (inside) and up (outside). You know. I remember when it used to be a kind of insult to say that someone had a Google Alert for their name. Like, having a Google Alert for your name meant that you were a narcissist. I guess I remember when that (being called a narcissist) used to be an insult? Anyway. I obviously have a Google Alert for my name, and it recently alerted me to something which I thought was kind of sweet.

After years of searching the internet for some confirmation of myself, and polluting it with my own dumb thoughts feelings and ideas, the Internet has finally taken it upon itself to paint a portrait of me, based I guess on Google searches or Goddess knows what. I've been sitting on this text for a little while. It was generated (I assume) by computers under the Google Sites thing, and it looks remarkably like one of my own stories.

I've been feeling so down recently, like everything I do or have gets taken away from me. So it's a kind of bittersweet complement to know that, thanks to the Internet, I don't even need to be here at all. What a gorgeous simulacra (they always are). The beat goes on. My clone sleeps alone. Gosh. They even got the same kinds of typos that I tend to make.


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