I was in a shitty mood this afternoon for no reason. Or actually a bunch of reasons, but none of them any better than other ones (old shit, dumb shit, etc.) And I kinda pulled it together. I realized I was raging, got ahold of myself and chilled out. Ate some soup, listened to the new Younger Lovers 7" I just got in the mail, and met up with Jiddy to go see the new Muppets movie. The movie was cute. We ate some good snacks. Good vibes. We got out and the weather was pouring and decided to take a cab, but couldn't decide between going to Jiddy's first or to my house first, but we decided go over the Williamsburg bridge, and when we told the cab driver he started yelling at us about how stupid that was, how we were stupid, how it was a waste of time and money and would take longer than to take the tunnel to Queens. I told the guy to just take me to the subway, then, and I stormed out of the cab and got into the wrong subway platform and then when crossed the street in the rain to the right platform I just missed the train. The train finally came and I read some of the new Doris I got last night, and when I got home I decided to get a snack since I'm really upset and I'm not counting a cup of vegan soup at 6pm as dinner and I'd been watching Miss Piggy for two hours and I went to the stupid bourgie deli since it's the only thing open at 10pm (really) but all the food they had, like tofu or whatever, was all rotten, puffing the containers out, expired last week. I left disgusted stomping through the rain to the other bourgie deli open all night, which is closer to my house, and new, but more expensive. Their shit wasn't rotten and was a dollar cheaper. I bought some fake vegan sushi and a big chocolate rice krispie treat (I read somewhere that this is what models snack on backstage at the shows) and I got home. I'm totally soaking now and furious and not really at anyone. The cab drive just really set me off. I hate feeling like this. I just finished this book of early Gertrude Stein stories, and I had decided this summer that instead of therapy I'd just read every single thing Gertrude Stein ever wrote, and if, after doing that, I still wanted to go back to therapy then I could do that. I sort of got sidetracked (the book I was reading was pretty boring) and I made an appointment with an analyst. So tonight, having just finished this boring book, I moved onto the next Gertrude Stein book, which ought to stave off my craziness until I can get my head shrunk, and the Gertrude Stein book I am going to read next is: WARS I HAVE SEEN.

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