Don't You Wanna Dance? Say You Wanna Dance. Don't You wanna Dance? (Dance!)

Friday night I went to New Wilderness, a fantastic new performance party which is the mutant lovechild of NYC queer art stalwarts New Humans (thrown by my awesome birthday-twin Jesse Gold) and Snowy Wilderness (thrown by the equally awesome, if sadly not Leonine Johnny Sagan). I was exhausted from my Thursday night adventure and only got to see the first act, which was Lotus Eater Machine. So great! I hadn't seen Ben perform before and had no idea he was such a good singer!

Actually that's not true, I did have an idea he was a good singer. The second time I ever met Ben was at Birdsong last summer. I had been sitting a few rows behind him, and Ptrck the Witch who was sitting next to me pointed out someone with a butterfly tattoo on their neck, which was Ben, but I didn't know it yet. Ptrck thought this was because of Mariah Carey, which says more about Ptrck but he was right, it was about Mariah Carey, Lotus Eater Machine sounds like maybe a cross between Nine Inch Nails and Mariah Carey. Is that okay to say? It was a great show! The shitty photo above is before the shit hit the fan of the performance. There were literal explosions, in the best meaning of the word. After the show I got a sandwich ("Still a Virgin!") and went to sleep. Yes.

Spent most of Saturday doing chores and getting ready for our house party that night, when I heard the awful news about Whitney.

The first record I ever owned, and what I am realizing is probably my first clear memory of music, at all, is when my dad brought home this 7" of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)". I remember him coming home from work one night, I couldn't have been more than three years old, and putting on the record. I remember very clearly that this is one of the very few memories I have of the apartment my parents and I were living in at the time, in East L.A. I think my little brother had just been born. Just barely. I remember loving this song so much, from the gate, that I (this is a very specific memory) literally rolled on the floor with pleasure at hearing the song for the first time. I remember rolling on the kitchen floor. The song remains one of, if not my favorite song of all time. I had never and still haven't heard anyone sing like that. It blew my mind. In later years it did seem strange to me that my dad (who's really into opera) should even have that 7" but I never questioned it. The song has been a central part of my life and I am so sad to hear about Whitney Houston passing away. There are tons of tributes everywhere, as there should be, and I'm actually quite sad about it. I can't bring myself to listen to the song again yet.

So yeah we had a party at our house on Saturday. I was a little nervous for there to be strangers in my bedroom, mucking about. But then I cleaned all day on Saturday, realized that i'd be among friends, and opened my room. Of course then some friends of friends of friends moved into my room, set up a party on my bed comprised entirely of strangers, who spilled wine and candy all over my nightstand, somehow wedges gummy bears all over my bedding, and actually burnt a whole through my vintage Vera Neumann pillowcases (which you know I got as a set and you know I fucking live for) with a cigarette. I'm glad these kids left when they did (after some medium hostess shade thrown by yours-truly) and didn't, you know, burn down the house. Anyway I am probably not going to be in the mood to have another party at my house probably ever again. I love entertaining my friends. But cleaning up after strangers who want to deliberately trash my fucking bedroom is not fun. I saw a girl open my dresser and put her empty cup in my sock drawer. What the fuck?

Other partygoers found my peanut butter in the fridge and helped themselves to some. When I found the jar on the counter, I put it back in the fridge. Someone must have seen me because they promptly stole it from the fridge afterward. And someone stomped on our modem (which was installed in a stupid place, to be fair) and so now we have no internet. It's a little nuts.

We all grieve differently. Working on new internet at home. I bet I could be more productive. We'll see!

I got these really cute TAO Comme des Garçons pants last week in the mail.

So pretty huh? I am using them in this new performance piece I'm writing. Slash: trying to write. SLASH: giving myself permission to finish thinking about writing. I guess without the internet to distract me I will get a lot done! Or find ever more creative ways of not doing work I ought to be. Anyway: how many performance ideas sprang from an outfit I wanted to wear? Most if not all. I think this is probably true for everybody, ever. My new performance is (without giving any of it away yet) about talking about the things we all have in common. But I've said too much!

Sunday I meant to go watch the Grammys but was too tired from the party the night before. All I did, really, was bum around Williamsburg and eventually make my way into Manhattan to go grocery shopping. I decided to make my favorite dish, sausage and peppers, the way my mom does whenever I come home to visit, adapted from the Silver Palate cookbook.

With fake sausage, obviously. I pretty much never cook anything outside of my repertoire of six easy dishes that I cycle through every week, and I never ever cook from recipes. So this was a challenge for me. It wasn't difficult so much as involved. I gotta say, though, that I tried really hard and it paid off and the food came out fantastic, almost exactly as I remember it. It is so good! And I've gotten at least 3 meals out of one recipe, probably another two yet. The only bummer is it took forever. Like, two hours. I know, I know: cooking takes time. Anyway I was so exhausted from cooking I missed the Grammys, which my buddy Jess Paps had a little shindig for. But whatever I watched Black Godfather and ate my favorite meal and got some sleep. A taste of childhood. So much about being a kid today, huh?

Hey speaking of how amazing Jess Paps is, check out this performance and interview video of her band, Heavens Gate:

Finally, here is a beautiful Valentine's Day poem written by the woo-woo shaman extraordinaire, Living Artist and one of my personal Drag Mothers, Robin Winters:
Black flowers Red flowers 
I am older
But my heart has not grown cold
Every morning I invent
A theater of flowers in a room
My longing is my wake up call
There is no homeland security
The other is always unexpected
This is what excites me
The other shoe
And the hanging sword
Give me delight
Not all news is bad
Sometimes it is just the shift in the weather
Plants continue to bloom
I still love to take a bath
Fried eggs amaze me as they transform
Old flames are with me always
Yet nothing overshadows this moment
I am so excited that I forget my own name
The best way to learn new tricks is to share the ones you know
A message is carved into a green staff
When plunged into the ground it begins to sprout
There is always time for music
And also
I thank you in advance. 
Valentines day 2012
Happy day, lovers.

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