A family member works for a health-food and vitamin-supplement distribution company and so sometimes for birthdays I get some very special woo-woo supplements which I would never think to get for myself. And sometimes they're great and weird and sometimes they're just weird. Like, I got this body lotion that is L-Tryptophan, which I actually do love. I mean: a sleeping pill that comes in a sticky brown body lotion. This is exactly my fantasy. Ultimate Fantasy Boyfriend. Most recently I got a big bag of chia seeds, which I'm adding to everything I consume.
Or, I'm trying to. Chia seeds so great, they're like... the new Kombucha. Not to talk shit about Kombucha. Although, Sexy Psychedelic Santa aka Dr. Andy Weil (who seems pretty right-on in a lot of other ways) has some pretty harsh things to say about the 'booch. Which is a little bit vindicating, because I don't really like Kombucha too too much and now I know I'm not missing something so important. Or, I don't know I think. Anyway Chia's been given Miss Honeybear Weil's Blessing.
How weird that my life, that I'm being excited about this: a new type of seed! Did you know that most insects don't like the Chia plant (what are they, crazy?) so it's a lot easier to find organic chia? Fucking kill me. Jesus.
The weekend was boring, was hard but boring. I didn't do as much/enough of anything. How weird to be able to notice the rhythms of your body. Like, the weekend before I really went out and partied too hard for my own good, but last weekend I slept, mostly. Cooked. Thought. Meditated.
Having a hell of a time putting together this new art piece. I guess I tend to think kind of thematically, conceptually, and not so much narratively. I understand that most artists sort of just make the thing they're going to make, and try to enjoy the process and not worry about the end-point. That seems like good advice. I'm totally scared about what I'm doing because what if it sucks? Or even worse, what if it doesn't suck, but it just seems like it's going to suck, so people don't come? Is that even worse? I can't worry about this.
I want to make art that makes people feel really encouraged and excited and welcomed because that's how I would like to feel, myself, personally. I think a lot of the time I make art (or whatever) because I can't feel a certain way so I try to make other people feel that way. Or at least call attention to the fact that that's what I'm doing-- a strategy.
Projection, I guess.