I somehow lost my copy of Ann Cvetkovich's Depression: A Public Feeling. I was reading it on Saturday night in my bedroom and now it's gone. I'm terrified to think that I subconsciously hid the book from myself to avoid having to continue reading it, because it was too painful and uncomfortable for me to deal with. I'm so embarrassed. The good news is that I started reading this Ariana Reines book that Kayla sent me. It's blowing my mind and making me miserable at the same time. it's like everything; I don't know. I think either my subconscious is taking over or Mercury Retrograde is working it's magick. Or fate or God or something. But I think I'm meant to be really inspired right now by people like the nocturnal bad girl soothsayer Kayla Morse and gut goddess Ariana Reines. So totally blown away. dJust trying to stay open to what the Universe is throwing into me and not asking who's throwing it.

Such a weird weekend, week, month. Year. Two years.

So obsessed with Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her lately. I saw them play once, in Olympia, at Yoyo-a-Gogo, in 2001. But I actually missed their set because I didn't know who they were. Endlessly kicking myself for that. I've been listening to that Future or No Future album a lot lately, while cooking. I'm going to listen to it while I cook dinner tonight. Does making a salad count as cooking?

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