I've been trying this approach in the last two weeks, where I treat every fuck-up, frustration, and thing that goes wrong as an opportunity to roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders and just go with it. My usual M.O. is to understand these frustrations as further proof of my own deficiency. So this is a nice change. And it's been a good week.

My parents were supposed to come visit me this weekend, but because of some lingering health concerns (everyone's fine) they're not coming. I am truly disappointed, because I was so much looking forward to partying with them, but I definitely understand the decision.

I myself just booked a trip to Berlina in July. I need to try to find a way to book some SHOWS there as well. To make a little coin to fuel my Club Maté habit while I'm there. I do think that I could subsist entirely off of Club Maté and Gauloises Blonde Rouges. But I don't get to make that choice, because I live here.

So now the weekend stretches before me, after I carefully cleared my schedule. Which feels good. If I had my druthers I'd be cleaning, but I don't so I likely will not. I even took the week off of working on my show, ENCOURAGER, but I know I need to do some more thinking about it this week.

Listen, just as another reminder: if you're reading this and live in NYC or will be here at the end of April, I really, really want you to come see ENCOURAGER. You can get info and tickets HERE.

Last night I went to the OUT Magazine Bowie Issue party at the Hotel Americano. It was fancy and delightful. DJ'ed by Michael Cavadias and John Cameron Mitchell, and featuring a blisteringly brilliant performance by Miss Joey Arias.

Joey Arias is a true punk rocker. It made me think about how the idea of drag as inherently radical and inherently feminist, or even containing the characteristics inherently, is flawed. Seeing someone actually perform gender in a sincere, thoughtful, visceral way was so fucking cool. Joey Arias is the real thing and has been for a minute, and everyone would be wise to learn a thing or two from her.

The performance was introduced by the lovely and talented Miss Pennifer Arcade, who I am totally obsessed with these days. I'm finally reading the copy of Bad Reputation I got for Christmas, and thinking of how when I saw Penny Arcade perform in 2000 at the first Ladyfest in Olympia Washington, how she sort of set the Capitol Theatre on fire by demanding that the audience (mostly women-identified, mostly queer, mostly white and college-educated) hold themselves accountable for internalized misogyny. People got upset. That was the point. I had never seen a performer do anything like that before or since, and it made such a big impression on me. The idea that a performer could actually speak to that kind of elephant in the room, and be taken seriously. It gave me goosebumps and still does. I'm gushing: this is just to say that Penny's great, for a million reasons.

I hung out a lot with the coolest girl ever, Jill from Jason and Jill's Craft Extravaganza and darling superstar Mike. Erin came with me but she saw her uncle so she had to go.  I saw tons of familiar faces, actually. It was a fun night and I did sneak out by 11:30 but only by a half accident.

I want to get back in the habit of blogging about all the cool fun things I'm up to, but am also trying to get out of this rut of only writing about feeling shitty. But it's my party and I'll do what I want to.

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