Ugly Fudges

So I have a new story, "KING" out in the new issue of Spunk (arts) Magazine. I'm really proud to be in such illustrious company! The zine is amazing:

You can buy your copy of the new issue HERE.

Oh, I forgot to mention, but Thank Goddess because there's a new installment of Saint Mx Justin Vivian Bond's legendary video news series, THE DRUNK NEWS:

I had such a great weekend hanging out with my friends and making jokes. I feel so lucky, sometimes, to get to be around the amazing people I'm around. Maybe it's a thing of being in New York. Maybe it's a thing of just feeling grateful, or whatever, but it feels like everyone I know was so on point this past weekend. I was like, laughing hysterically the whole time. Does that seem weird? It seems a little bit weird to me. I had so much fun. Friday night I did some chores and then hung out in the downstairs apartment with Teebs and Paps and PLD before going to a Beer Party at Dirty Looks curator and enftant fantastique Bradford's apartment. The last time I was at a party there someone spilled wine down my shoe (which totally forgot about until PLD helpfully reminded me that I blogged it). This time the party was much tamer and nobunny spilled anything that I can see. I saw so many fun and fancy people there and we made so many great jokes. Monica and Sam especially, and everyone. I left kind of early, it felt good.

Saturday I got some costume bits for the Tori tribute show we did, and we had B0DYH1GH band practice. We wrote a new song, but I think I may have forgotten it. Daniel wrote it on his way up the stairs from his apartment to my apartment, so maybe he remembers the riff. After practice we gatheredTeebs and Wilkes and Paps and her charming ManChild BoyMeat, who drove us all over to Bushwick to celebrate miss Jiddy No-No's birthday on her gigantic roof. The weather was gorgeous, there were so many really overwhelming and gluten-free snacks, and a huge pitcher of sangria which I basically parked myself beneath. Lots of deer friends whom I miss very much and always love to see. I literally almost peed my pants with Wilkes and Teebs and Chantal, poking fun at some of the craziness of some of the other party guests whom we did not know. I had the most fun. Too much fun. Really. Yikes. I went to Metropolitan afterward, because it was Gag! and Cameron's birthday. That was just ok. Sweetheart Ultimate Husband Material friend of mine told me I looked "out of it" which is probably putting it mildly. There were so many creeps! The dual themes of this weekend are that a) my friends are hilarious and I feel so lucky to have them and b) why is everyone such a creep, including me? I got into a fight at Metro, with someone I had had some ... contact... with, for some reason? And other people were creepy to me, I was a creep to other people.

After they closed the backyard patio, the tiny bar became unbearably crowded with thin white men in their early thirties, with messy hair, tank-tops and carefully groomed facial hair. PLD asked if it was just his eyesight or did everyone kind of look the same. Isn't there a Hole song about this? (SIDENOTE: I think I might be outgrowing Courtney Love). Yes, everyone looked the same, it was so scary! One of the clones, I swear to God, I do not know this guy, came up to me, gave me a really wet and ticklish kiss on the cheek (he had a mustache cookie duster), then said, as he passed "You're Welcome". I don't need that, guy. I don't like my cookies dusted. Not at all. Did the Saturday night ritual of getting a sandwich at Hana and passed out at a respectable but late hour.

Woke up Super Dupes Early to take our gear to dear heart Greg's house, since he lives right near Joe's Pub. I ate a pastry then came back to carry the amp (with greg's muscular help hubba hubba) to the venue, where we did sound check for the Tori show. Those other queens on the bill can sang. And they can play the fuck out of some piano! Man. They were all talking about how which song is in which key, and how Tori apparently likes to write songs in all these crazy keys. I took piano for a few years as a pre-teen and I had no clue what any of them were talking about! After sound check I went to the gym and listened to Bridget Everett and the Tender Moment's song "Titties" which really got me amped up for life. We went to the venue and did our show. It was a fantastic show! So, so many dear friends on the bill. I was in heaven. Miss Erin Markey said and I am apt to agree that it was like a high school reunion. Here's a picture of me and PLD playing "Past the Mission" in our sort of country-western / jazz / iggy pop interpretation:

Rode the train to work both yesterday and today with my bday twin and spirit animal and downstairs neighbor Paps. We were talking about how we can invent a more Californian (get it?) marketable calcium chew, to improve upon the ones already out there, which Paps referred to as "Ugly Fudges". She's right, right? I mean again, right?

CONFESSION: I used to totally gorge myself on these at my parents' house when i was in high school. I thought they would be better for me than real candy. They're not.

I want to come up with a less Ugly Fudge. A better for your bones, and better for your spirit fudge. Ask me how, I can't really post it here.

Tonight I'm going to a very special dinner, the dress code of which is "Summer in the Hamptons". But not, I'm told, like one specific summer. Rather, the dress code is "I spend every summer in the hamptons, doesn't everyone?" I already picked out my outfit. Before I left the house today. I feel really on it.

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