Some thoughts on the new Fall 2014 Menswear collections. I'm saving my thoughts on CdG until I see the show tomorrow.

Rick Owens followed the gorgeous "grit faces" of the step teams in his S/S 14 women's show with a bunch of unknown meeskite white boys in durags.

Walter van Beirendonck responds to Chanel's pre-Fall racist headdress kerfluffle, which was so charmingly articulated by boy genius Sean at *fruitpunch. Walt van B also shows some cute, post-Globalization future-Orientalist frills of his own:

Meanwhile, Jil Sander in very sad state of affairs, with this being the first collection after the departure of Jiline. I hope she and wifey are not sick. One note of optimism is of course the shiny pants. Who doesn't love shiny pants? They're true POWER BOTTOMS.

A bit macabre, no? I just copped a pristine Uniqlo +J blazer on sheBay for like $12, so I feel like I got my Jil fix. PS remember how she used to show up at the NYC Uniqlo to style customers the day the collection would drop? I think I've talked about that before. How cute, right? All good wishes for Miss Jil Sander.

Prada latest 1970s romp was obviously gorgeous. Miuccia described the vibe as, "More naive, but too perverse to be innocent." Of course.

I saw an article once that talked about how Miuccia seems to be this weird mix of adult and child. Like she wears miniskirts and sits on the floor with the children at a dinner party, but drinks and smokes, but has a weird sense of humor. I can't find it now, can someone help me? God love Prada's obsession with secondary colors, with bad shag carpeting colors. I'm always down.

Raf Simons and Sterling Ruby. Meh. Great. Fine. The "Fathers" thing falls kind of flat for me. We all like dads. Single dads. Stay-at-home dads. I am a little skeptical of the punk rocker who stitches a patch with the word "FATHERS" onto his jacket. Even if he is wearing those fetching rubber space boots.

Yohji Yamamoto showed some great, totally cockamamie clothes today too:

Attractive, inaccessible, and yet somehow familiar. I know this guy. Who is he? Where have I seen him? I feel like I've waited in line behind this guy to get into the theater. These are clothes for guys who work as Registrars in museums, or who co-own a small art gallery. These are clothes for guys who do not have kids, or even spend much time around kids. These are clothes for men who have traveled, but probably don't walk more than 3 or 4 blocks at a time these days. These are clothes for men who travel quite a bit but hate hotels. How should I say it? Needlessly indulgent. Not exactly realistic as clothing. Utterly gorgeous. I want everything. I want that lifestyle, of the unworker. The kind of job where you ostensibly make money, but not through a salary. These clothes will be paid for by royalty checks, honorariums, trusts. Goals, etc.

New York's most celebrated current dark-shape-draping wunderkind Alexander Wang showed a mens collection, but it was boring (to me, sorry) so forget it. She also announced that she'll show her Womens Fall collection in (gasp!) Brooklyn. Just think! To ask editors to cross the East River? "Unheard of." Scandalous! He should choose an even more remote location. Like Detroit. Everyone's always saying New York is over. So Alexander Wang, if you want to really blow everyone's mind, show your collection in Detroit. Lord knows they could use the local economy there. Transfer the workshops to Detroit. He should choose an even more remote location, like Mars. Now that's fashion. Can't you see the Suzy Menkes headline now? "LIGHT YEARS ahead of its time..."

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