Ugh you guys. I just got back from the last Artist in Residence meeting at BAX and there were lots of feelings. I got home and now I'm so sad. It's the post-show depression, and it's also the post-arts-residency depression. It's the post-institution depression. It'll pass, I know, and I'm mostly really happy, but still. Oof.
I'm glad I gave myself so many things coming up to look forward to and keep me busy. On May 17th, the new issue of Scorcher is coming out and I'm having a release party at the Bureau of General Services Queer Division, featuring readings by me, Tommy Pico, Sam McKinniss, Anthony Thornton, and Kayla Morse. The new issue is three years in the making, and is titled/themed "Valedictorian". You can read the title story now up on the Lambda Literary Foundation blog. I'm thrilled, but I can't even really process that it's finally happening.
Then on June 8th B0DYH1GH is playing at Joe's Pub, for Enid Ellen presents Lilith Fairy: the Reawakening, a Lilith Fair cover show, which is also a benefit for ACT UP NYC. It features performances by Enid Ellen, M Lamar, Brett Every, Nicholas Gorham, Amber Martin, B0DYH1GH, Greg Potter and Erin Markey. It's going to be epick.
ALSO in June, B0DYH1GH and Skirt play a special show at Macie Gransion on 6/14, and I will perform part of ENCOURAGER at a special Manhattan evening which will actually be so special. And then also B0DYH1GH has a mythtape waiting in the wings. There's a lot.
And I'm sort of ready to write again, some more. And then an out of town show at the end of summer.
I feel good, I feel vindicated. I think my hunch was right. I feel a little crestfallen though. I'm also getting new room mates. I'm like, "Should I move? That's not really an option for me right now or ever." Not like in a way where I'm afraid of change, but in a way where it's like, where do I begin and the universe end, you know? Nowhere.
It's so weird to not be going to rehearsal every night, and to not know when my next rehearsal is. That's not true, I have some more rehearsals, just to fuck around and get ready for things.
Boy I sure am glad I'm going back to analysis this week. See? That's another thing to look forward to. Going to a fancy performance tomorrow night which I'm quite excited about for a number of reasons. I made this salad but didn't assemble it, so that I could bring it to work tomorrow. Because I was going to take myself out to dinner for being sad, as a treat, but I can't-- I'm waiting for someone, it's annoying.
I also bought myself a shirt as a present for getting through the last few weeks. I also let myself chainsmoke. The shirt doesn't really fit, or look too too amazing, but I can'r return it. For credit only. I should have sussed that out better. But it wasn't at all expensive or anything, it's just weird. I also got these new shoes a month and a half ago and have been waiting to wear until I feel like I deserve nice things. So I wore them today, they're white. And they're too big but they also weirdly chafe, so when I got to work this morning they were stained with blood from my heels, where they rubbed me so badly that I bled through my (new, beige) socks. Feeling a bit... like, frustrated at things that don't exactly fit. Or don't exactly fit right off the bat. I get so frustrated not having everything I want, perfectly, all the time. Doesn't everyone? It's a thing of remembering that nothing is always perfect forever, and that's why anything can ever be perfect, I suppose. It all takes getting used to (and getting rid of) so if you see me limping around in a pair of blood-stained white creepers, with a very tight but very long low-cut CdG shirt on and a crooked grin, you'll maybe know why.