6/3/14

Night time is a feeling

Y'know it's funny: it doesn't feel like morning. It still feels like last night. Is night time a feeling?



I got my iPod fixed by a shoddy intern. It works, it turns on. It plays. What does not work so great is the Pause button. The Stop. The Brakes.



Had such a fantastic and lovely time at the Lambda Literary Awards last night. I'm like: Did I embarrass myself? Was I awful last night? Maybe the last night/nighttime mood is because I'm still drunk? No. It is a fact that in the Summertime, it's always the same time of day. What time is it? Sun.

On the subway, there was an empty seat in front of me and I thought about sitting but then looked around. Behind me there was a nun in a gray habit, a gray sweater and gray skirt, etc. Gray hair. She was standing and I figured I oughtn't take the seat, she should have it. But she didn't take it and I wondered if this was a God thing, the suffering or like denial stuff. Was I supposed to offer it to her? She eventually sat down in front if me and stated off into space, sort of accidentally looking really intense.

I mean how bad could I have been? Don't answer that. Sister Pico was one of the illustrious presenters, and was charming and handsome and the ceremony was just lovely. I was so thrilled to be his guest and get to schmooze with the literati and hang out, it was wonderful. At the after party we hung out with the Bureau guys and this rad new Sarah girl and I felt like: I'm unconsciously flirting with everyone and everything. The hors d'oeuvres. Not because I'm a creep just because I suddenly felt so good and optimistic after having felt kind of rough before. Now I feel great, you know?

Did my little office commuter comfort routine. The fruit guy, the muffin guy, yogurt. I'm a Leo. I am a lion. I am a creature of habit. And we creatures of habit are not history's favorite children. Our loyalty is not rewarded. Time does not withhold his cruelty from the creatures of habit. The world seldom rewards you for staying the same. Consistency is not a virtue, it is a fairy tale. I'm getting a little bit different, though, too. 

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