It feels as though I need to put some distance between things. Like I need to make more, be around more, in this other register. Something between public fawning and self-destruction. I don't want to seem disingenuous or seem like I'm pretending that everything is fine or horrible. I mean it doesn't matter, but it's a thing of having multiple conversations at the same time.

Sometimes I think about this, about different registers all happening at the same time and how that's chaotic. But that's also harmony, right? There's resonance there. Is music a metaphor.

The healing power of the erotic, right? I was so wrong, I'm still wrong.

A lot's been going on. I have a lot to do. I've been doing a lot. This week I went to go see Sister Pact perform in Long Island City and they were FANTASTIC. They have a new tape/album coming out soon and it's going to be a big thing.

It felt kind of familiar. This type of music, or this experience of music as being like: they wrote these songs super intentionally and they sound like this on purpose and it's not like what is getting played on the radio right now but it's valid, it's beautiful, it's strong, it's important. It's just what I needed. Like we need this right now, intellectual cute-boys post-shoegazers just diligently making art right. It's so unselfconscious.

I'm trying to really latch onto feelings of inspiration and be really cognizant of when it strikes. This is all to say that there are some shows I'm doing soon. Well, in August. But some other things too and I want to be able to feel excited about them and invite people.

I'm working on it.

No comments: